trying to pull myself away

limbo.


guess i'm wondering where i'll end up.

the fourth, the fifth...

i guess things can't stay good for long...

not that they're bad now, but still. build up to a fantastic day yesterday, a good day at work today, and then family shyte...


so it goes...

happy?

so, shakes camp is half done.

wonderful town is one show away from being done.

despite adam being as unreachable as ever (*melancholic lover sigh*) i met a great guy...


one more year of college.








could i possibly be happy right now?

what dreams may come

wow, that last post was melodramatic.

things are slightly better now that the show is up. i'm feeling much more positive, since we've had a fantastic opening weekend. i can't say that the stress of stage managing was worth it, or that i'll do it again anytime soon, but i'm now enjoying the result.

as of tomorrow, monday july 14th, i have one month left of summer. my last summer ever really. unless i end up being a teacher, which is not that unlikely. hoorah double negative.

camp is also going well. great kids, we're doing as you like it, we added a bunch of music into it because we cut the script too short. great american song book, yay. my only problem is that i'm still broke, and i spent too much money this weekend. i'll be ok to go into the school year, but i'm gonna have to watch it. and i'm gonna have to find time for a campus job.

i need to get to the city soon...

turning their lights off

as if i needed more stress right now, my phone just died.

to recap:

i'm broke and have very little time or means to make money.
wonderful town opens thursday and the costume designer hasn't brought everything she needs.
i'm going back to school in just over a month.
i'm lonely.
i've been having severe anxiety attacks in my sleep, so bad i sleep on the couch with my dogs.
i have no direction in life.
i'm in a country that discriminates against me.
i'm on a planet that is being destroyed by the dominant species.


and in summation. almost everything sucks.




sunshine and daisies.

alcohol

i should probably drink less. since i'm kind of depressed lately...and alcohol is a depressant...

isn't it rich?

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.