hit me with a hot note

we had our first performances for quintessentials today/tonight. they went fairly well, could have been better, but so be it. it's funny how you don't really get what you are missing for performance until you actually get in front of an audience, and then it's "oh, what's that note really?" or "ok, that's why that's funny". not too bad. but i'll make sure personally to be better next time.

lots of homework tonight. and city tomorrow!! finally!

and do i disappoint you?

oh, you silly silly boy, why do you do these things to yourself?


but i'm very good right now. so it's ok.

frustration nation

i'm just really frustrated. i'm good, but at this particular moment, i'm really frustrated.


frustration.

up!

actually awake, which means i'll make it to english 1, which means i get to spend my morning discussing le morte d'arthur! hurrah!

two sense

i would just like to express:

from where i stand, the world is doing some wonderful things. we're pushing the envelope, often in areas that could use pushing.

however, we as a species need to agree on a set of guidelines for social interaction. if we're going to be rude, let's all be rude. if we're going to be polite, let's all be polite. and fuck all to ignorance, that's just not worth a damn.

me goez two kollidje

this is probably the best paper i've written ever. i got an a. and it's a hard teacher. and i'm really proud of it.


subject: nietzsche, and the apollonian vs. the dionysian.

The Birth of Tragedy is German philosopher Freidrich Nietzsche’s treatise on where in human experience art comes from. He specifically focuses on the arts of the ancient Greeks and their origins, but his comments do have broader relevance when applied to the world today. Nietzsche’s principle idea is the conflict between Apollonian and Dionysian ideals, particularly how they conflict and how they achieve duality. He contends from the very beginning that both are necessary “even as the propagation of the species depends on the duality of the sexes”. Because the nature of the two world-views conflicts on such a basic level, their mutual existence pushes its mirror to greater creation.

Nietzsche compares the two realms to the difference between dreams and intoxication. Apollonian form is the form of dream, focusing on forms within forms, and an illusory interpretation of the world as is. This may be perceived to be an obscuration of the world as is, but Apollonian constructs contend that any perception of reality is marred by the very act of perception, and so dream is a fair way to ensure that reality is still acknowledged. This is a highly individualistic way of looking at the world. Dionysian form relates to intoxication, which is not necessarily anti-individualist, but rather, pro-collectiveness. This occurs readily with chemical aid and loss of the structure of rules and inhibition. It also occurs, perhaps less frequently, in group experiences that verge on orgiastic, whether sexual, religious or of some other nature, when a collective of persons surrenders themselves to a group mind, or group consciousness.

These two forms come into conflict because of the importance placed on contemplation versus action. Apollonian form is by nature a form of contemplation and thought. There is a throughline readily visible in any art which has its basis here, which allows its perceiver to have some concept of the reason for its form; artistic license is a foreign concept here. Ballet at its purest is an Apollonian art; it seeks form as a means of expression. The forms that descend from a Dionysian tradition and inspiration would seem chaotic to those more familiar with the form of Apollo, but rather than exhibiting lack of structure, the structure is assumed. If the expression is one of pain, then pain itself becomes Dionysian, with little need for embellishment.

These two distinct modes of thought are brought on by different sets of starting circumstance. Dionysian togetherness has a primal edge to it, almost taking the form of a hive mind, and combats the failings of the individual by absorbing them into a much more energetic whole. This enhances faculties to their straining point, but degrades ability for rationality or higher thought. Conversely, Apollonian structure is born of a need to individuate. Cooperation is between individuals, based on orderly ideas of conduct and still allows for the singular to have importance. Religion is Apollonian, but worship is Dionysian; one gives a code of conduct, the other glorifies the experience of that conduct.

The world today is just as split along Dionysian and Apollonian lines as it ever was, right down to the inner workings of private life. There are certainly those that lead a much more primal existence that suggest to observers something of the Dionysian spark, and likewise, those who abide so much in form that the ideal of Apollonian structure seems to emanate from their very existence. However, those souls are few and far between. Nietzsche discusses another philosopher’s work about willfulness. There are two ways of expressing will; satisfied willing, joy, or inhibited willing, sadness. This is remarkably poignant. Society seeks to give structure, but structure invariably stifles the natural impulses of its participants. However, completely free expression in a world where structure does exist leads to ruin. The over-diagnosis of attention deficit disorders and hyperactivity disorders is a very clinical example of this conflict. Those diagnosed are not always suffering from any real disability, but rather are naturally drawn to a different side of the coin than society imagines healthy development to entail.

Apollonian and Dionysian forms both share the concept of Maya, world illusion, and it is their relationship with Maya that defines them both. Maya is the fabric of the world as we know it, how we perceive it with our human senses. The Apollonian urge seeks to contemplate Maya, to understand it and meditate on it as a reflection of any other possible world. Dionysian tendency drives past it, looking for a truer world that Maya exists to obscure. Neither side ever really succeeds in their goal, nor can they. Inevitably, there comes a point when real knowledge fails, and on this threshold Dionysian reality merges with the Apollonian.

Psychotherapy, particularly dramatherapy, gives us another way of looking at the Apollonian and Dionysian in the concept of distancing. Distancing is a measure of how an individual views the world, in extremes of overdistance or underdistance, or at an ideal state of aesthetic distance. Overdistance is a detachedness or separation from the rest of the world. This is signified by a coldly analytical view; not always detrimental, but in experiences outside of the primal, it disallows healthy interaction between people. Underdistance is an excess of empathy that paralyzes the ability to distinguish between self and others. Aesthetic distance lies in the middle, reaching out to both ends as useful and necessary, but living fully in neither. Overdistance is the Apollonian extreme, contemplation without connection, and underdistance exemplifies Dionysian nature, connection at the expense of any contemplation.

Tragedy is birthed out of the presence of both Apollo and Dionysus, and in the rare instance when they are forced into direct conflict. The anagnorisis that occurs in an Aristotelian tragedy can only occur when one side or the other is forced to recognize the presence and the value of the other. When one side is dominant, there is no tragedy, only a gradual stagnation. They cannot be eliminated however, and are shadows or mirrors of each other; each bears the seeds of the other. Out of anarchy and chaos is born order and definition, which inevitably plunges back into wild abandon. They are not good or evil, but rather are truer reflections of what humanity is, twin urges that pull in opposite directions.

To understand these concepts is the study of a lifetime, and one that very few alive even possess the faculties to begin to undertake. However, awareness of the pull is the best place to start, and this frees up any number of possible reactions. Ideally, Dionysian and Apollonian tendencies are balanced, restrained will and will released both given their place in the course of living. Perfect balance, like aesthetic distancing, allows for appreciation of both sides of the coin, but a marked refusal to be dominated by either. Ultimately, all of human experience is the Apollonian or Dionysian pull, and each goes in and out of dominance; but neither will dominate forever, because humans collectively are always both subject and object, and observed and observer, and this cannot change.

have a nice day.

making the shift to blogger.

I guess it's time for a change. My livejournal has served me faithfully for two years, and now I'm moving to blogger. So be it.

That being said. I'll be keeping that. Because I don't want to get rid of it. But the time requires change. Like shaving my head. So I'm changing.