oh don't you know

too busy to breathe or sleep.


suffice it to say i've figured out some things about myself. the most important one is that i am not ready for a relationship. i want good old fashioned dating, where both parties go out and have a good time, but where there is no pressure for attachment. call me a commitment-phobe, but so it is. i've always thought it absurd for someone in my age group to be getting seriously involved anyway, and the last year has reinforced that and clarified some things for me. not to say i want to slut around; but i want to have fun with people without putting anyone under any pressure.

also. i'm going to learn to say no if it's the last thing i do. next year, i'm committed to only three things. my show, al's show and reslife. and if that's all i can handle at max output, then that's all i'm gonna do. realistically, i'll probably do one show, but i don't see myself being able to handle two...


time will tell. for now though, i'm gonna listen to a little bit of birdsong outside my window.




thank god for spring.